Breathing Stranger Air
by Rixeca
Summary: In a race against time, two are seemingly lost forever, and two are left utterly alone. In times of loneliness, comfort comes in tears, music on a stormy night, and sea-salt ice cream. AkuRoku, XigDem, and a little of almost everything else.


I woke slowly, warmed by soft, gentle rays gracing my window. My hair obscured my vision as I rolled over, blindly feeling for Axel. The sheets were cool, but something rough and crinkly met my fingertips. I flipped the offending spikes out of my face, and opened my eyes. As I'd thought-no Axel. In his place, a small, crumpled paper bag with a bright red sticky note adhered to the top. Blinking sleep from my eyes, my mind remained trained on the crumpled paper bag even as I reached for the note, gingerly removed it, and brought it to my face, smiling at Axels' familiar, messy scrawl.

'_Roxas,_

_Today marks the second anniversary of your joining the organization. It also marks the first anniversary of when I made you mine, back in that alley in Twilight Town. I bet you're blushing up a storm at that, aren't you, Roxie? :) I sure hope so. And, yes, I have been keeping track, to the teeth, the day you entered my life._

_I bet you're wondering why I'm not lying in bed next to you, offering some birthday fun..! To be honest with you, Roxie, it's classified. Xigbar and I have been sent out on some difficult mission in some dangerous world, but don't you worry that sexy blonde head of yours. We'll finish in time for ice cream.'_

I felt my brow furrow. Axel rarely, if ever, left notes for me, preferring to just disappear and reappear soon afterwards. Or, more to my taste, not leave at all. Maybe something was wrong, after all. Those bruises that I noticed last night when he returned from his mission, littering his neck, shoulders, and hips… Something in my memory pinged, but I couldn't process well enough to figure it out. Anyways, the reflection was vague at best. Still… He was sore, too, collapsing right after we made love…

Sighing, I shook the worry from my mind. Axel was always telling me to stop getting so concerned about little things, and he could handle himself. He was a grown man, after all. Flipping the note over, I was happily surprised to that Axels' message wasn't over.

'_Anyways, happy "birthday." I left you a little something, so go on and open your present, like I know you've been dying to.'_

I felt myself smile, then I reached into the bag, drawing out a small box and a long, thin stick, dyed green at one end, with fancy letters spelling "WINNER."

This made me laugh. We'd been leaving the "WINNER" sticks for each other since the day I almost left the Organization. The free ice cream was our secret "I love you," and I felt a tingling of affection that spread over me, carrying a wide grin to my face. I raised the stick to my mouth and kissed it, feeling his lips against mine briefly, then cracked open the box.

Tears leaped to my eyes as the sight of a breathtaking onyx-and-diamond ring came into view. Nestled softly in the velvety liner of the box, it sparkled merrily in the sunlight leaking onto my bed. The band was slender and delicate, and the pattern on it matched the checkerboard bracelet I already wore.

I felt a soft, warm tear roll down my cheek as I removed the ring from the box, and very, very slowly, slid it onto my left hand. It shone there, strange and beautiful.

Shaking my head, I peered back into the bag. A small, grainy picture rested at the bottom, and I picked it up to inspect it closer.

Axels' strong, callused left hand, a thicker, more masculine version of my ring on his finger.

I sat, captivated, tears of joy rolling down my cheeks. Noticing what seemed to be red ink bleeding through from the back of the picture; I turned it over, and found five words, written by those hands I loved.

'_I knew you'd say yes.'_

Crying openly now, I felt myself drawn back into the day that changed everything. The day that lay exactly one year in the past...

_He knew who I was. He knew, but he didn't care enough to tell me. Some best friend. I hated him. I HATED him!_

My fury-fueled internal rant had been repeating itself over and over in my mind as I prowled the streets of Twilight Town. I sighed and forced myself to walk calmly, slowing the fierce pulsing in my head. Pressing a hand to a wall, I sank to my knees, thinking perhaps holding still would help me figure out where to go and what to do with myself once I got there. Dazzled by the lights that were far too bright even in the dark alleyway and too tired to see straight, I gave in to the whispers of memories and overwhelming guilt that had been prodding and poking my brain since I left the Castle That Never Was. I attacked Saix, then left him for dead, not looking over my shoulder as I heard his death rattle. Now I had no place to go, no one to turn to. What had I been thinking? I couldn't leave the Organization. I was useless. Nothing. A Nobody.

"It's not fair," I whispered, sliding my fingers through my hair, feeling the painfully honest words slink past my lips like miniature Shadows. "It's just NOT FAIR!" I dug my fingers into my scalp roughly, trying to shut out the overwhelming self-pity that threatened to overthrow my senses. I stood, dropping my hands to my sides, then pressed onwards, silently battering myself inside. After making a few more rounds of the town, I turned down a side street, slowing my pace as I realized I was not alone. _He _was leaning against the next building, his 'I don't give a shit about anything' expression souring my mood even further. Still, a strange heat stole over my body, especially my face, and that choked-up feeling I recognized from when I thought _he_ was dead after being sent away to Castle Oblivion returned, filling my limbs with lead and my stomach with icy water. Narrowing my eyes to hide any weakness, I pressed forward. There wasn't a chance I would let him see how I felt. I couldn't really feel, anyways, not without a heart... Or so I had been told. The 'feelings' I tended to experience _seemed_ real. Shaking off my thoughts, I squared my shoulders and stalked past him, letting my eyes blaze, warning him of the danger of screwing with me now. I felt his eyes on me, burning through my coat, fluttering across my skin, leaving soft tattoos of a faded shade of brilliant poison green eyes.

"You can't leave the Organization." He stated, his voice indicating that he'd turned to face me. "They'll destroy you."

I paused, feeling a slight chill of panic that I shoved away, refusing to express anything but my fury at him. All I wanted to do was hurt him. He betrayed me. He said that best friends were something special. So much for special.

"No one would miss me." I shrugged, still refusing to turn and look at him. Behind me, I could feel Axel's eyes darken.

"That's not true!" he exclaimed, taking a few steps towards me as I walked away from him. "I would."

I scoffed and shook my head, not slowing or turning to indicate that I cared what he said. He didn't care. He wouldn't talk to me. He left me in the dark, handed me an unlit candle, and said, 'Good luck!' He let me wander around the dark web of lies, then didn't bat an eyelash when I fell from it without the security of a safety net. He hid Xion's purpose. He hid my identity. I would _never _ forgive him. I heard his footsteps stop.

"What's your problem!" he yelled, startling me and making me jump and halt in my tracks. I gritted my teeth and summoned my Keyblade, agonizing over having shown him fear.

"You think you can do anything you want. Well… I'm sick of it!" he raged.

I glanced over my shoulder, feeling my eyes widen as I took in the strange, twisted smile that played across his normally mild features and the feverish eyes that glowed with a strange light. He advanced on me, heat pulsing around his body in waves I could almost see.

"You keep on running! 'Cause I'll always be the one to bring you back!" He sped up, seized my Keyblade in one hand and my shoulder in the other. I tightened my hold on my weapon, struggling to free it and myself from his fiery grip. Axel bent down, his face millimeters from my own. His face relaxed into the soft, gentle look he had often worn when he mentored me when I was new to the Organization. I relaxed slightly. I knew that face. The face that meant he wouldn't hurt me after all.

"You know what?" he murmured, backing me up slowly. I shook my head, feeling my back touch something rough. Bricks. The wall. Suddenly terrified, I shook my head more fervently. Fire crackled and leaped in his dangerous emerald eyes. I could see myself reflected in those eyes, burning alive as I stood and watched.

"I'm going to take you." He whispered, moving still closer to me, his body pressed to mine. "Right here." He gave my shoulder a squeeze. "Right now."

The twisted smile returned. I tried to wrench my shoulder from his grasp, simultaneously attempting to raise my Keyblade to force him to let me go. The inferno burned on in his eyes.

Axel laughed. Then his lips were on mine. I squirmed, trying to free myself from the obviously insane pyromaniac, but he just held me tighter, his fingers digging hot furrows into my shoulder.

I cried out as the fingers tightened, pinching my skin hard. Axel let out a moan against my lips.

"Does this feel good, Roxie?" he murmured, licking his way down to my jaw, pressing soft kisses into the skin there. I stood, baffled by the question, struggling more weakly against him as the strange heat from earlier stole over my body.

_Did it feel good?_ I reflected silently, parting my lips slightly as he ran his tongue over my bottom lip, asking more gently for entry. His tongue met mine, and a soft moan slipped past my defenses. I gave in, and within moments his fiery body was all over mine.

My cloak fell to the ground, and I lay back against the brick, exposed, barely standing. Axel leaned down, kissing me softly, and I felt his outstretched hand brush my side. Almost involuntarily, my arms wrapped around his neck, and he lifted me, pressing me gently against the brick. My legs wrapped around his waist almost naturally, and he raised two fingers to my lips, his free hand stroking one of my nipples. I felt my back arch slightly, and I took the fingers between my lips, coating them generously in saliva. I felt his body grow stiffer, and he released a soft groan as I returned his digits, kissing each softly as he slowly traced his palm down to my lower stomach. Gently, his first finger positioned itself at my entrance, and Axel lowered his lips to mine once more, whispering gently against them.

"Relax, Roxas. It'll hurt you if you don't." I felt my body loosening even as he said this, and I wrapped my legs more securely around his, feeling a burning pressure as he entered me for the first time. My eyes screwed shut; it felt like I couldn't breathe.

"Don't be afraid," he whispered. I shuddered, and couldn't hold back a whimper. He held very, very still, his lips migrating upwards to my forehead. I took a deep breath, then nodded slowly. I felt, rather than saw, Axels' grin.

It burned and ached briefly, but as he slowly stretched me, I felt my body responding to his touches, my hips rolling gently with his. My groans of pain melted into soft murmurs of lust, then into panting moans of passion as his second finger entered me. I tipped my head back, bucking against him, and he laid a trail of hot, open-mouthed kisses along my exposed skin. It felt. So. Damn. Amazing. The heat I had felt earlier raced along my spine, finally exploding into white-hot ecstasy as I came, screaming his name, all over the front of his cloak.

Axel laughed, gently touching his forehead to mine, kissing my eyelids with a lovers' gentleness.

"Did that feel good, Roxie?" I nodded dumbly, unable to speak, still shuddering in the waves of heat that emanated from my skin, traveling through my veins. "Good," He smiled, placing a soft kiss at the end of my nose. "Because I'm not done with you yet."

Within the next thirty seconds, Axels' clothes were also littering the ground, and he had me wrapped, once more, around his waist. His eyes blazed, but the earlier whirlwind of flames were replaced with a smoldering desire and… Was that… Affection?

I'd seen that look in the eyes of couples who passed me while I was going about my business. Xigbar often wore it as he slipped his hands into Demyxs' back pockets when he first woke up in the morning. Never before had something like that been directed at me… And experiencing it, finally from the receiving end, was bliss.

I closed my eyes, reaching up to nibble his bottom lip, caressing his face with the hand that wasn't wrapped around his shoulders, and whispered softly.

"I'm ready."

Axels' groan of approval mingled with my moan of need as he slowly entered me, and that familiar burning started up again, kindling my body with a need so monumental, I couldn't bear it anymore. The soft pain remained for a few moments, but Axels' gentle preparation kept me from feeling the worst of it.

My first whisper of his name was what kick-started his passion. He moaned in my ear, whispering gentle words and ardent promises. Each thrust he gave was met by my eager hips, burying him deeper and deeper within me.

"R-Roxas…" he murmured, panting softly, his beautiful green eyes opening fractionally.

"I…" I whispered, but, as he gave another delicious thrust, I felt him brush something inside that sent me screaming his name, begging for more. Every well-aimed thrust hit that spot, drawing cry after needy cry from my lungs. I tried to hold out for him, but my body gave a final, shuddering jerk, and I released once more, my moans of fulfillment echoing surreally in the dark alley. Axel gave one, two, three more deep, rough thrusts, then came as well, his muscles tightening as he groaned my name.

He stood there, panting against my skin, my back cooling slightly against the rough wall, and together, we caught our breath. He pressed his lips to my forehead tenderly, and whispered,

"I love you." Surprised, I opened my eyes to find him gazing at me, his expression clouded with warmth and gentleness. I felt my lips pull up, and I kissed his nose softly.

"I love you too."

That was the first time I'd heard those three, beautiful, terrible words that changed my life forever. Those words were the reason I stayed. They were impossible… But I believed him. I felt it too.


End file.
